Write down who you are...

This may just look like our cozy little coffee station. A home for our electric Hario pot, cone coffee dripper, hand thrown mugs and Old Factory Coffee Beans. And it is, it does a fine job, but if you look closer, you'll see something that is much more important.

The chalkboard above tells more of our story than this little nook of heaven ever could. When we started our Family Meetings last year, it was out of near desperation to draw the four of us back together. We put out a big piece of poster board and we wrote down things we needed to remember on a daily basis-- we wrote down our rituals for living.

We chose things we wanted to be about. We chose guiding themes for what was important. We talked about or values. Then we wrote them down and put them up so we would be held accountable, by each other and by every person who steps foot in our house.

I encourage you to take time to find out who your family is and write down your values. It guides us toward who we should be every day.

Quiet Things: Filled with Light

I have really enjoyed daylight savings. I got up early and took time to knit and read. This song came floating in on my Pandora station. It sounds like waking up to me, like rebirth. And falling back, the gift of an extra hour feels like rebirth too. Like, resetting the clock.

It was brisk, clear and sunny today by 7:15. Oh joy for autumn light, shining through the window as I filled thermoses with warm soup and I cut up oranges for lunch. I said a little prayer of gratitude as the kids ate breakfast and waited for the bus. That fall sunlight never ceases to amaze me.

And now, the house is really quiet. Our black lab's deep breathing is the only sound I'm hearing. And I am really grateful for this time in life, time to take a step back and enjoy the things that Christ has for us: love and family, good food, beautiful friends, amazing coffee... we are filled with light.

Weekending

This weekend was the most wonderful mix of relaxing and hard work. Good conversations and great coffee. And of course, Halloween candy!

We started the weekend off super pumped for Trick or Treating. The kids jumped off the bus ready to get into their costumes. We drove over to pick up milk for the shop, they had to be in full regalia. They wanted to trick or treat by themselves but only made it a few houses away from us, but they loved the idea of being on their own. We ended the night with take out and the Great Pumpkin with our favorite friends.

On Saturday Eric woke up super early and worked at the shop and I took my regular afternoon shift.  

It gave me plenty of time to hang out with the kids and reinstate our ritual Sketchbook Saturday Morning. The kids reveled in their jammies: painting, playing, reading and hanging around. It was thrilling-- it had been a long time since we'd taken an at home day. We finished the day off together, snuggled up on the couch watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. 

Today, we woke up early and enjoyed our extra hour. We went off to church and spent the afternoon having great conversations with the Room for All community at the shop. What a joy to be exploring inclusive community and becoming a safe place for ALL.

I hope you had a lovely weekend as well! Did you do anything fun?

Welcome Home

She grabbed my face between her soft hands and said, almost sternly, "Welcome Home."

Her exclamation summed up everything my heart felt. It had been so long since we had gone out to fly kites. It'd been forever since we laid with our backs on dewy evening grass and looked at the clouds pass. And here she was, laying stomach to stomach, face to face, pronouncing her little greeting, blessing and benediction.

Welcome Home.

In the last month, I've completely changed my daily life. I left my Fortune 500 company job as an Art Director to embrace the daily living that I'm meant to have now.

I felt like I had been living a double life-- deeply trying to find balance and rhythm in our home, but fighting for the illusiveness of time everywhere else. "Gotta do more, gotta be more" felt like a runaway train. So, I chose to disembark.

So here I am, barely a month of newness under my belt. I'm practicing healing. I'm embracing the life that is right here.

I'm choosing to reclaim wonder. I'm carefully putting my heart back together. Loving my husband and children, loving our little house and our rhythm.

I'll be here more often too. I feel like I've come home on so many levels.

In Defense of Solitude

I sat in the grass, under the shade of a tree and breathed in and out. I tried to drop my stubborn shoulders, they have hovered near my earlobes for quite a while.

And I contemplated how I had ended up in this grass. On a beautiful day. With about 20 people I did not really know.

My spiritual director administrated a retreat for those who needed a day of solitude, prayer and direction. And I paid a small fee, hopped in a minivan with two friends from church and traveled one town over for the day. And I have a really hard time taking time to myself these days. But, divinely, I took the plunge and made time for the retreat.

In the morning, we had prayer time, a guided reading and then we were set loose on the retreat grounds to find a quiet spot for a few hours.


I was a bit apprehensive, I had no idea if I could sit in silence for 2 plus hours at a time, but here I was.

After a bit of silence, I felt myself drift away to this quiet, spellbound place--  as if the solitude itself was feeding my soul. Gently handing bits of bread and sips of wine.  It reminded me of the line in a Eucharistic prayer, "Deliver us from the presumption of coming to this Table for solace only, and not for strength; for pardon only, and not for renewal."

The quiet was as satisfying as a cool drink after a hot day. A part of me that was bound up-- tied in knots slowly faded away as my pen struck the paper of my journal. And it was not all comfortable, but it was stretching and growing.

After a few sessions of solitude that day, I felt refreshed, whole and hungry for more time, more bits of bread, wine.

I am wondering how to get this type of solitude in my life without a formal retreat, without an entry fee and without driving to a venue a town or tow over for a lake view. How can I take this time in daily life?

So I started bit by bit. When I walk at night, I turn off my ipod and run towards the sunset.
I find a quiet spot with my journal on the front steps of my home. Even if it is just for a few minutes.

"Glaciers move in tides. So do mountains. So do all things." John Muir

Do you take time for solitude? Do you set aside time to be alone? What feeds your soul?

Love After Love
Derek Walcott

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Gluten Free: Marsala Mushroom Cream Sauce

Not too long ago, I found myself standing in front of the fridge, like I do most nights, wondering what in the world I was going to make for dinner. I thought it would help if Lynne Rosetto Kasper showed up, at least we could play 'Stump the Cook' and I'd have a beautiful meal out of her other-worldly suggestions, but alas. It was just me and the few things I thought I could make into a meal.

On the immediate list the end of a bottle of cream, a few mushrooms needing to be used up, leftover steak... and I started turning my wheels. My mom used to make this really beautiful chicken Marsala-- so I grabbed a bottle of cooking wine and started assembling flavors. A bit of this an that. It turned out really well. And once the table was set, wine poured and the candles were lit, it seemed like my dinner dilemma was a far away memory.


Perhaps, you'd like to tuck this in your back pocket for an front-of-fridge emergency?

Marsala Mushroom Cream Sauce
1/4 onion diced fine
1 clove of garlic diced fine
2 carrots diced
1 can of diced tomatoes
1/2 of cooked steak
1/4 cup of Marsala cooking wine
1//2 cup of cream
1 Cup Chicken stock
5-10 Baby Bella mushrooms sliced
Sprinkle of Thyme
Sprinkle of Savory
Springle of Garlic Powder
As always, I started with a glug of olive oil in a cast iron skillet. I sauteed the onion and garlic until they were fragrant. Then add the carrots and stir until they are coated with oil. Salt. Add the diced tomatoes, chicken stock and wine. Then add the seasonings. Simmer about 10 to 15 minutes until thickened. Add cream and sliced mushrooms. Stir until combined. Cook gently about 5 minutes more. Add to pasta. We use gluten free.

All because of Origami: Adversity Breeds Hope

Isabel couldn't fold an origami crane last night and she got frustrated. Tears, big tears. Then she looked up a video on youtube and she couldn't hear what they were saying. More tears. And anger.

"Why don't you just do this for me?" She asked, choking on frustration.

"I don't want to take all the hard things from you, my job is to help you deal with the frustration as you figure out your own problems."

Last weekend, we were learning how to fish and the same type of issue. She is used to things coming easy for her, she's naturally coordinated-- in most things. It took her a long time to understand how to coordinate her hands to cast.

Folding an origami crane or casting out a fishing line are not true hardships like poverty, addiction or any of the world’s problems. But, making small steps in our own personal lives help us learn how to deal with larger issues.  Resolve to finish something you started is important. Knowing the depth of your intellect and the depth of your capabilities is important.

I want my kids to know that they are capable. That they can take care of themselves. And that they can finish a project, even if it is an origami crane.

"If one of my kids is struggling, it feels excruciating to let them go to school and figure it out for themselves. Hope is a function of struggle. People with the highest hopefulness have the knowledge that they can move through adversity. When we take adversity from our children, we diminish their capacity for hope." Brene Brown

New Rhythms, New Adventures

I do this every season don't I? I stop, look and listen.

And then we adjust our rhythm to fit the needs of now.

This new space, season is so different from the rest of our life changes because we took a leap. We tried to be brave and we took an opportunity that seemed like the hand of the divine was holding it out for us.

With our glorious friends, we bought a coffee shop. The coffee shop.


It became our joy and responsibility. And, for a bit there it took tons of energy and passion to get it up and going. But it was all out of love. And the passion and energy are still going.

This place, this coffee, this community, the deep conversations, the continuing connection-- it's what life is about.

So, if you've wondered where I've been. It's been here. A three house walk away from our own backyard.

Our beloved coffee shop is now a place we too call home... well you know, it kind always has been.

What's in Store for the Weekend: Home Style

When Isabel woke up this morning, she asked me what we had planned for tonight and I said, "nothing!"

"And in the morning?"

"Nothing"

"And on Sunday?"

"Nothing!"

It was quite unbelieveable to me too.

But we do have quite a few things planned. But they are all based out of our cozy little home.

We will probably have Sketchbook Saturday Morning, but we'll be around our own table. In our jammies.

I am going to make a few of these awesome and easy fabric baskets.

I will be watching a drawing class from the uber-talented Lisa Congdon.  

We'll walk to our local fair-trade store for some equal exchange coffee.

I'll be making wedding gifts for my little sister! So exciting.

A big pot of Abondigas soup, meatballs and veggies in a beautiful bone broth.

I'll be investigating fermenting Green Tea and Honey.

And I'll start this little project, small but smart knitting!

Isabel has been begging for carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. Or maybe, a gluten free version of this is in order. 

Maybe, I'll finish reading the Perks of Being a Wallflower, I'm almost done!

I hope you have a happy weekend! I am sure we will!

All is Calm, All is Bright

Every year, we choose a guiding theme for the upcoming year, usually I take the theme from a Christmas carol and use it on our Christmas card, but I try to keep it in the forefront of my mind as we live out our daily lives. 

For 2013, I chose All is Calm and All is Bright. 

It seemed fitting, because who doesn't want to be calm, quiet and full of light? 

Unbeknownst to me our guiding theme became my mantra as we passed through some of the darkest times of our family life and marriage. And claim those words as glorious truth through some of the most adventurous and beautiful times in our family life and marriage. 

I read recently though I can't remember where, that adversity gives birth to hope. Without struggling through adversity, you can be left with an unshakeable hopelessness. And though, I don't know about unshakeable hopelessness, I do know that our hard fought adversity has indeed given birth to hope. And more than that we are now thriving. 

We've learned a lot. Basically, practice radical honesty, ask for help when you need it, take a step back and seek out the good and the beautiful in life. Even if it seems like nothing is beautiful. Be on the watch for it, it will find you. 

And this all sounds trite and hocus-pocus, but looking back on this year, I wouldn't trade any ounce of it, because of the place we're in now.

And remarkably, as we enter 2014. We're entering it Calm & Bright.

So we chose for this years theme, Repeat the Sounding Joy.

Because, we could all use a joyful year to recuperate. (Hows that for honesty!?)

Yarn Along: Litany

We were snuggled in on the couch reading before bath time and Isabel read the cover of my book and asked, "What is a Litany?" I said, "usually short prayers where the priest will pray and we will respond. It's a practice of prayer, but in a structured way."

And then I begun thinking about Keeping House -- and the truth that it brought to light. Meeting basic needs of a community is spiritual practice.  I know that warm food, warm clothes, clean sheets make us feel safe and whole.

Last night, I had all three kids (my two plus our beloved Olivia!) in the snow. The snow was so wet, they came and changed some article of clothing, pants, gloves, hats, just to run outside again for more. When they came inside for dinner, their cheeks were rosy, their hearts were full and they were hungry. We lit candles, added a few more chairs, shared dinner together. And I realized, keeping house is much more than folding laundry or changing beds, but it is those things. It's a heart cracked wide open to the people we love and the community we live with.

---

This picture is the beginning of another pickles plain vest, it's off the needles, gotten a few wooden buttons and has been given to a sweet little man. It's knit in Plymouth Yarn- 553 Coffee Beans, colorway Gray 9389.

Joining Ginny for Yarn Along.

November Gratitude

November 1: For parents who come visit. And who are content in the excitement of sewing costumes, Halloween Parties and Trick or Treating. And who are content in the quiet: drinking coffee around our table, reading magazines, helping with homework, walking in the leaves and snuggling while watching movies. We are blessed.

November 2: For a few moments to sit on the porch in an old quilt. For the little pajama clad man who came and sat with me. "Share your warmth, Mama." By all means, Mr.

And for amazing friends, who encourage dress up, family togetherness and laughter!

November 3: For our glorious church and potlucks. Yellow leaves and fall sunsets.

November 4: For God's grace, practiced forgiveness, vulnerability, hard work, long roads and strong friendships.

November 5: For warm clothes, soft places to land, arm chairs, phone calls, letter writing. Things that make this world seem not so harsh.

Finding Fall: Changing

Do you feel the change in the air? Did you reach for your sweater this morning? I sure did. After weeks of record heat, we are inviting this change in the temperature.

This temperature change helped us settle our souls a bit.

Fall does that, for me, helps me move inward. I think about creating warm soup, baking fresh bread, raking up leaves and wearing flannel.

The air starts to feel a bit electric, maybe it's the grey skies that help the greens and gold pop into existence.

Or maybe, it's how we seek the warmth of home so we start readying it for winter. Like the gardens that are winding down that give off the spicy smell of cloves and nutmeg as they decompose, returning back to the earth.

Whatever it is about this early fall season... I'm smitten.

*If you care to, join me for two weeks of Finding Fall. 

Creating Memories: Late Summer

 

Yesterday, I surprised the kids and took off the afternoon. We've been having early-outs from school due to high heat. They got off the bus, cheeks flushed and a little lethargic. Until they realized that I had icy lemonade, chocolate cupcakes and a cool house for them to come home to!

We pretended we had a summer day off and we packed our day with tons of fun things. The afternoon felt lazy and productive, all in the same breath.

And when I looked back on everything we did yesterday, I am amazed. It was a really great day at home.

-We read a few chapters of James and the Giant Peach while we ate our cupcakes and drank lemonade.

-Truman did his homework while Isabel played with dolls.

-Truman made an awesome Lego, car/airplane as a surprise for Eric.

-We set up a waterless swimming pool for the sheep and Molly. (So our stuffed friends would not 'feel left out' when we played outside.)

-We sat in the kiddie pool and washed all the outdoor furniture, the front door, the side of the house. I drank lemonade, dunked my feet in the pool and I read a few pages of this book.

-We picked up Dad early so he could join our summer fun!

-We played water balloons.

-Eric and I snuck off to the coffee shop for a few minutes while our neighbor watched the kids play outside.

-I made tacos for dinner while the boys made more Lego sculptures. And Izzo took a bath.

-Dinner together was fun and relaxing, we love spending time together!

-Truman took a bath and Izzo did homework.

-We had silent reading time.

-The kids did a few Cosmic Kids Yoga videos.

-They played spies and 'helped' while I finished some 'pick up, put away' in the playroom.

-Dad got home from a meeting and we made paper monsters.

-They got to bed early and read James and the Giant Peach with Eric. 

It was such a glorious day, I wanted a little record to keep in my mind forever.

What did you do yesterday?

Weekending: Instagram Style

This weekend started early in the week. We've been soaking up the summer and visiting all of our favorite places. You can follow our summer adventures here.

Summery smile!

Front yard baseball season.

Quiet morning painting, reading, crafting, pbs watching.

Eric's breakfast creation.

Kite flying.

Kitchen table studio.

Sketchbook Saturday Morning

Dock jumping.

Sunset swimming.

After church brunch.

Visiting Bob's Drive Inn, playing old maid.

Summering: At Home

We had a glorious vacation. But we've been home for a month now and we are reveling in summer on the plains. It's taken a bit of time to settle into summer-- but we have. Here is a little visual list of what we've been up to!

This little man turned 6. "Mom, take a picture of my eyeball!"
He loves wearing my glasses.

His presents all wrapped and ready for him.

Bike riding in the evenings.

Playing in the sprinklers.

Fourth of July face painting.

Truman watching fireworks.

Visiting the Farmers' Market.

Swimming Lessons

Sparklers! Truman's first time!

Jumping off the dock.

Weeeee!

Riding their bikes to John and Bonnie's House!

Truman took all his cowboy gear with him!

Birthday baseball game.

Eric's birthday.